Perhaps you have applied God’s grace to yourself and experienced that love and power which has delivered you from all roots of bitterness toward someone. You have put on a disposition of forgiveness, even toward those who will not repent or receive your forgiveness, but somehow you cannot forgive yourself and subconsciously are demanding some punishment of yourself.
Sometimes it is more difficult to receive forgiveness that to grant it. We feel we deserve to suffer because of what we’ve done. But, to bear our burden and take our penalty was part of our Saviour’s ministry on the Cross.
When we belong to Him, we can leave our shame and punishment with Him. This is part of God’s grace. This is part of the unmerited privilege that is ours when we are in His grace. Only when we realize that God truly desires us to receive all He freely offers can we avail ourselves of His unfathomable love and grace.